Relatable with Thrive Therapy

Ep 23: Shame

Welcome back to another insightful episode of Relatable with Thrive Therapy! Today, Lauren, Cayla, and Colter dive deep into the complex and often misunderstood emotion of SHAME. In this episode our hosts explore the many facets of dealing with feelings of inadequacy and how best to support someone grappling with this emotion. They emphasize the power of curiosity, connection, and validation, while steering clear of judgment and quick fixes.
You'll hear personal anecdotes from our hosts, debates on the utility of shame, and practical strategies for recognizing and processing this universal emotion. From discussing the nuances between guilt, shame, and embarrassment to sharing tips on developing emotional regulation and communication skills, this episode is packed with valuable insights.
Lauren, Cayla, and Colter also touch on the importance of vulnerability, processing through shame to prevent it from becoming permanent, and even unpack how therapists themselves experience imposter syndrome. Get ready for an engaging conversation that promises to leave you feeling understood and equipped to handle feelings of shame with compassion and empathy. Stay tuned as we wind down by hinting at our next topic: sadness and pain. You won’t want to miss it!
 
Understanding the continuum of shame experience.
Feeling called out, acknowledging shame, competitive nature.
Navigating experiences, connections, and feelings of embarrassment.
Shame as a protective response to fear.
Recognize shame, process emotions, understand purpose, take action.
Need validation, insecure, defensive, and self-discovery.
Moving from shame to curiosity about others.
Reaching out to safe people when feeling vulnerable.
Processing shame means stepping into vulnerability for growth.
Regret over failing as a parent lingers.
Differentiating guilt and shame, seeking vulnerability, overcoming static identity.
Seeking understanding or trying another approach.
Empathize, validate, open up, explore together.
Sharing feelings and receiving validation is helpful.
Thank you for listening, learn more about shame.

Ep 22: Guilt

In this episode, we talk about the depths of guilt, focusing on its relationship with setting boundaries. Join us as we discover the differences between guilt and shame, and learn practical strategies for identifying, regulating, and navigating through guilt.
We cover -
The connection between guilt and setting boundaries: Discover why it's challenging to establish boundaries without experiencing guilt, and how guilt serves as a signal for a values check.
Understanding guilt vs. shame: Differentiate between these two emotions and grasp their distinct functions in our lives.
Go through the 6 paths we can take when processing guilt.
Identifying guilt: Learn to recognize the signs and triggers of guilt in various situations.
Regulating guilt: Explore effective techniques for managing and mitigating feelings of guilt.
Moving forward: Gain insights into constructive actions to take after experiencing guilt, and how to align your actions with your values.
Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of guilt and empower yourself with practical tools for navigating this complex emotion. Join the conversation and embark on a journey towards greater self-awareness and emotional resilience.
Looking for more on this topic? Head to our online platform where we have FREE online courses that give in depth information on topics like emotions! Our Gift of Emotions course covers Guilt in depth and helps you process your own.
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Ep 21: Grief with Elaine Evans

Introduction:
Welcome to today's episode we welcome Elaine Evans of Third Place Therapy, and we embark on a journey through the complex landscape of grief. Join us as we explore the stages of grief, the profound impact of loss, and strategies for navigating the grieving process with compassion and resilience.
Understanding Grief:
Grief is a natural response to loss, encompassing a range of emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Whether we experience the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or any significant change or transition, grief manifests in unique ways for each individual. It's important to recognize that grief is not a linear process but rather a deeply personal journey with its own ebbs and flows.
 
The Stages of Grief:
First introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—provide a framework for understanding the various emotional states that individuals may experience while mourning a loss. While not everyone will go through each stage or in a prescribed order, these stages offer insight into the complexity of the grieving process.
We dive into the lesser known sixth stage of grief, with meaning making by David Kessler. We discuss the pros and cons of this aspect of grief and the difficulty of crossing over this last step
 
Navigating the Stages:
Each stage of grief presents its own challenges and opportunities for healing. From the initial shock and disbelief of denial to the eventual acceptance and integration of the loss, individuals may move through these stages at their own pace.
It's important to allow ourselves the time and space to experience each stage fully, acknowledging and honoring our emotions along the way.
 
Honoring the Healing Process:
Grief is a deeply personal and often transformative journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and support from others. By engaging in self-care practices, seeking professional help when needed, and connecting with loved ones, we can navigate the grieving process with resilience and grace. Remember, healing is not about forgetting or moving on but rather finding meaning and purpose in the midst of loss.
As we conclude today's episode, let us remember that grief is a natural and inevitable part of the human experience. By embracing the stages of grief and honoring the healing process, we can emerge from loss with newfound strength, wisdom, and compassion.
 
If you are looking for a way to explore the use of grief, check out our Gift of Emotions course on our FREE portal. There is a workbook for you to explore your own emotions and Lauren will walk you through the Gift each emotions brings.

Ep 20: Why Fear Is Important And How To Leverage It

Introduction:
In this episode, we delve into the intricate realm of fear. Would you get rid of fear if you had the choice? Lauren says “No way” but Colter says “Maybe?”
What exactly is fear, and why do we experience it? Join us as we explore the evolutionary function of fear, its physiological and psychological manifestations, and practical strategies for regulating and processing this powerful emotion.
Understanding Fear:
Fear is a primal emotion deeply ingrained in the human psyche. It serves as a vital survival mechanism, alerting us to potential threats and triggering the body's fight-or-flight response. But fear isn't solely about physical danger; it also encompasses a wide range of psychological and social fears, from fear of failure to fear of rejection.
The Function of Fear:
At its core, fear is a protective mechanism designed to keep us safe. By activating the sympathetic nervous system, fear heightens our awareness and prepares us to respond to perceived threats. However, in today’s world, where physical dangers are often less prevalent, fear can sometimes become maladaptive, leading to chronic stress and anxiety.
Regulating Fear:
While fear is a natural and inevitable part of the human experience, it's essential to learn how to regulate it effectively. Techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing, and cognitive reframing can help us manage fear by calming the body and mind. Additionally, building resilience through exposure to controlled levels of fear can help desensitize us to perceived threats over time.
Processing Fear:
Processing fear involves acknowledging and confronting our fears rather than avoiding or suppressing them. Through introspection, therapy, or journaling, we can explore the root causes of our fears and develop healthier coping mechanisms. By reframing fear as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery, we can transform it from a paralyzing force into a catalyst for personal development.
Fear is a complex and multifaceted emotion that plays a crucial role in our lives. By understanding its function, learning to regulate it, and processing it in a healthy way, we can harness the power of fear to propel us forward rather than hold us back.
 
 Join us next time as we continue our exploration of the world of emotions as we dive into Grief. Until then, remember: courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.
 
If you are looking for a way to explore the use of fear, check out our Gift of Emotions course on our FREE portal. There is a workbook for you to explore your own emotions and Lauren will walk you through the Gift each emotions brings.

Ep 19: Anger

Join us as we delve deep into the multifaceted dynamics of this powerful emotion, unpacking its various uses and manifestations within both our individual lives and the intricate tapestry of our relationships.
Throughout our discussion, we will navigate the intricate landscape of anger, examining its diverse facets and shedding light on its often misunderstood nature. From its evolutionary roots to its modern-day expressions, we will uncover the underlying mechanisms that drive this intense emotion.
But our exploration doesn't stop there. We'll also explore the nuanced ways in which anger can serve as a catalyst for positive change, empowering us to set boundaries, assert ourselves, and advocate for justice. Additionally, we'll delve into the potential pitfalls of unchecked anger, exploring its destructive potential and the importance of managing it constructively.
Furthermore, we'll reflect on how anger manifests within the context of our relationships, from intimate partnerships to familial dynamics and beyond. Through real-life examples and expert insights, we'll examine the role of anger in communication, conflict resolution, and interpersonal dynamics, offering practical strategies for navigating its complexities with grace and empathy.

Ep18: Relational Intimacy

In this episode, we delve into the intricate dynamics of relational intimacy and the pivotal role emotions play in fostering deep connections with others. From understanding the essence of relational intimacy to exploring the concept of individuation, we embark on a journey towards enriching our interpersonal relationships through emotional awareness.
Relational Intimacy and Its Significance
Defining relational intimacy: At its core, relational intimacy transcends mere physical proximity, delving into the realms of emotional closeness and connection.
Insights from Colter Bloxom: “You can’t be closer to somebody else than you are to yourself.” This statement encapsulates the essence of relational intimacy, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness in fostering meaningful connections with others.
Understanding Individuation
Exploring the concept of individuation: As individuals, we navigate a spectrum of emotions, each influenced by varying contexts and experiences.
Embracing differences: True intimacy lies in our ability to authentically share our experiences while embracing the uniqueness of others. It's about sharing what it’s like to be oneself and listening to the experiences of others without judgment.
The Power of Emotions in Building Intimacy
Unpacking the significance of sharing emotions: Emotions serve as the cornerstone of human connection, offering profound insights into our inner worlds.
Embracing emotional cues: By attuning ourselves to our emotions, we enhance our capacity for empathy and deepen our connections with others.
Exploring a spectrum of emotions: From joy and sorrow to fear and love, we delve into the myriad emotions that shape our interpersonal dynamics.
 
Join us in the coming weeks as we explore each of these emotions and their roles in our relationships.

Ep 17: Relational Injuries

Today we dive into Relational Injuries! Relational injuries come in all kinds of relationships and we will cover what it is, and how it happens. We explore the distinction between relational injuries and typical relationship challenges. And we will teach you how to recognize when a situation escalates to a relational injury.
Once we know what relational injuries are, we will discuss the expectations of having relationships with other people. We will dive into the way to manage expectations and have a healthy ability of navigating injuries effectively as they come.
We will walk through the way to apologize and take responsibility for the way that we didn’t meet a need in our partners, along with the role of accountability and remorse in the healing process; teaching clear communication and how to rebuild trust and intimacy at the same time.
Listen to our therapists’ role play some examples of painful responses to a partner expressing their missed need, as well as an example of the “right” kind of response.
Speaking of intimacy, we will walk through the concept of the intimacy pyramid as a framework for rebuilding intimacy after a relational injury.
And finally, we will cover how to move forward. How we find hope after relational injuries, and we will share proven strategies for rebuilding trust and connection.

Ep 16: How Trauma Is Passed Down Through Generations

Join us as we have a conversation about the lasting impacts of Generational Trauma.
Definition of Generational Trauma:
Generational trauma is explored as trauma extending from one generation to the next.
The impacts of trauma can be passed down genetically and behaviorally, hindering appropriate social engagement and nurturing.
Brief Overview of Epigenetics:
What is epigenetics?
Epigenetic changes are adaptable rather than definitive.
A reference study on rats regarding stress and cherry blossoms.
Types of Generational Trauma:
Collective trauma is discussed, including racism, oppression, scarcity of resources, wars, combat PTSD, and displacement.
Individual trauma examples are provided, such as abuse, assault, medical trauma, and severe injury.
Family trauma is highlighted, encompassing attachment wounds and cycles of insecure attachment patterns.
Benefits of Understanding Generational Trauma:
Understanding generational trauma helps make the subconscious conscious, gaining agency over one's nervous system and behaviors.
Increased compassion for previous generations aids in forgiveness and releasing anger.
Different lenses through which to understand trauma are explored: trauma lens, attachment lens, and anxiety lens.
Book Recommendations for Healing Generational Trauma:
"It Didn’t Start with You" by Mark Wolynn
"Good Inside" by Dr. Becky Kennedy

Ep 15: How do I heal my trauma?

In this episode, we delve into the intricacies of trauma work, breaking it down into four transformative phases. Our hosts take us on a journey through the process, helping us understand how trauma impacts us and how we can navigate the path to healing.
 
Phases of Trauma Work:
Making Sense of the Chaos: Phase one focuses on untangling the confusion surrounding trauma. Our guest explains the importance of making sense of one's experiences as a crucial first step towards healing.
 
Expanding the Window of Tolerance: Phase two involves increasing resources and broadening the window of tolerance. But what does "expanding the window" mean for the layperson? Our discussion unpacks this concept, exploring how building tolerance becomes a key element in the recovery journey.
 
Processing Trauma Through Modalities: In phase three, we explore trauma-informed modalities and therapies. The episode delves into why traditional approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) may fall short, emphasizing the need for more nuanced and comprehensive strategies tailored to individual needs.
 
Integration into Present and Future: The final phase focuses on integration—bringing the lessons learned from trauma into the present and future. Our expert sheds light on how this phase involves aligning with values and setting goals for a brighter future.
 
Modalities for Therapy:
The episode explores various therapeutic modalities, highlighting that a one-size-fits-all approach does not work. It delves into the effectiveness of strengths-based and values-based therapies while acknowledging that they may not be suitable for everyone. We will touch on some valuable tips on finding the right trauma therapist, guiding listeners through the process of selecting a professional who aligns with their unique needs,
We discuss coping strategies and the vital role of self-care in the healing journey. Our guest emphasizes the importance of resilience and growth after trauma, shedding light on the possibility of recovery.

Ep 14: What is trauma?

This week on Relatable we dive deep into the definition of trauma and its profound impact on our lives. In this episode, we unravel the essence of trauma, defining it as anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope, persistently leaving unmet needs in its wake. Join us as we explore the lines between the body and trauma, where we experience freezing feelings, securing them in metaphorical boxes, and employing guards.
We distinguish between Big T trauma and little t trauma, shedding light on the diverse spectrum of major life events and everyday stressors. Uncover the profound impact of both on coping mechanisms and recovery, as we explore examples ranging from significant incidents like abuse, accidents, or natural disasters to the subtler but equally impactful everyday stressors such as rejection, failure, or loss.
We look into the protective strategies of the brain, revealing the adaptive responses it employs to shield us from overwhelming situations and uncover the long-term effects of these protective strategies, dissecting their influence on mental health and coping mechanisms.